How to deal with disrespectful child – daughter’s character change
I was reflecting the other day on the fact that recently my daughter has not been listening to what we have been asking of her. Nothing serious at this point as I believe it is a faze she is going through. I am trying to figure out what is causing her to behave this way at this time. It might be influence from classmates at school. Either way it got me thinking though how we as parents need to earn the respect of our children. Demanding or bribing your child will not work.
In order for me to help influence her to be more respectful I will continue to be patient with her because if I was to slip up and do something to upset her it would only make things worse. We are parents first, our children can and will have friends. They will only have one set of parents. I try to be there for her, play with her, listen to her tell me stories and do activities together. As nice as those things are me being a parent to her and disciplining are more important. I will encourage her to be respectful by demonstrating it to my wife and I will do all these things with consistent effort. How to deal with disrespectful child is something most parents will come across at one point or another and this is a moment I will have to deal with.
I whether by nature or having developed it since childhood have a high level of patience. I will work to continue demonstrating my patience with her. On occasions when I have unjustly lost my patience with her such as when she was not listening to me when I tell her to clean up her room. On occasions such as those through my filter in my head I see it as her being disrespectful. My reaction has been that she should respond immediately as soon as I have asked her something.
Although she should respond to me and acknowledge what I am asking and then take the appropriate action it does not give me the right to lose my patience and become disrespectful back to her. No one likes to be obligated to do something. I need to find a way to encourage her to do without losing my patience. There are nice ways of discipline and then there are those that are not.
You are their parent, not friend
I have a tendency to want to play and have fun with my kids often when I am with them at home. One thing I have had a challenge at doing is not being their friend first. It is important that I continue to work at changing this habit I have developed as they both need me to be a father first. I will be able to teach them self-respect, work ethic and instill a sense of ability to accomplish what they dream of doing.
For them to be capable of this I need to instill in them respect for us as parents. If they respect us as parents, then they will respect their teacher in school. They will respect their classmates, they will respect their future boss if they have a job. They will respect authority. I can not accomplish that by always being a friend to them. Part of my problem I believe is having been raised and believing in the North American cultural narrative of parents not disciplining their children. Kids when I grew up were starting to get away with much more than the previous generations had. Why you may ask? They did not have respect for their parents. Society today especially is afraid of disciplining children.
Respect your spouse
Very important point here in respecting your spouse. Practicing daily so my children witness my respect for my wife is a must if they are going to learn it. It is the foundation my children will refer to when they have their own relationships. Again in modern North American society respect between husband and wife on a whole is very low. We have not been taught how to respect our spouse because most of our parents were ill-equiped to teach us. How many people do you know your age whose parents divorced? I am sure you can name a few anyways. The relationship and way of relating between a husband and wife is unlike any other relationship that exists. Changing culture ideals of marriage and its meaning also have contributed to its breakdown.
You may have problems with your wife. You may be beyond frustrated. You are not alone. In researching, I learned that currently the divorce rate is around 65% of all marriages ending in divorce. That number is crazy. So many people give up on their marriage and spouse. I really believe it is possible with the correct help such as (TONY ROBBINS Affiliate link here) courses to find the love and desire to respect your spouse anew like when you first started together.
Our children deserve nothing but the best from us as parents and one gift we can give them is giving our respect to our spouses. I believe this is very much possible, we only need to make a change in our perception in order to do so.
In order to receive respect as her father I have to give consistent effort in discipline her. If she does something that needs to be corrected I need to explain why it was wrong and that their will be consequences if it keeps occurring. When she does something right I need to acknowledge her correct behavior.
Children need consistence in order to feel secure and loved. I will practice until it becomes natural to give consistent effort with her as her father.
Respect is something I have noticed lately at times lacking from my daughter. I believe it is just a phase she is going through. I will work to teach her respect by being patient, by being her father, showing respect to my wife and giving consistent effort.
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Have a great day!
Proud papa of two,